How to Rise Above Depression When Dealing with Burnout

Burnout.  We’ve all felt it.  Life is going great.  You are loving your job or enjoying your marathon training or head over heels in love with taking care of your kiddos.  Then, one day, you wake up and it takes all of your energy to get your running shoes on or make one more peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

The symptoms of burnout – fatigue, lack of passion, loss of enjoyment -are all too often daily feelings for a depressive.  Because of the similarities, I find it a major challenge to recognize when burnout has taken a hold.   To complicate matters, the best solution to burnout is a short break to reinvigorate and re-energize.  But when managing depression, taking a traditional break can be the first step into a dark and gloomy spiral of never ending sadness.

Finding the yellow-brick road back to the light of day can feel as daunting as eating rice a grain at a time.  Might as well not even be worth the effort.

I am an overachiever by nature.  I want to be at the top of my game…best of the best.  I want to do everything and actually believe that I CAN!  And while I have come along way in balancing my priorities, I still struggle with exercising moderation.  I go go go until I drop and burn up.

My first problem is recognizing burnout versus depression.  Even when recognize I am starting to get a little burnt out, I struggle to simply ease off the gas.  Instead, I slam on the brakes.   Once those breaks are slammed, it takes a force of nature to get me moving again.

Since exercise, particularly running, plays a major role in healing my depression, eliminating it is like taking away my oxygen.  While I am at rest, the burnout may go away, but I have no way of knowing because the depression grows stronger than ever before.

Additionally, proper physical recovery is largely dependent on mental well-being.  If you are dealing with stress because of the extra weight of depression, the physical body doesn’t have access to the tools it needs to fully heal.  And when the physical body isn’t nurtured and properly cared for, the mental aspects deteriorate as well.

So when exercise is your anti-depressant, what do you do when you burnout slaps you in the face?

Here are some strategies that have helped me get through while rebuilding my motivation:

  • Give Myself Permission to Slow Down: Taking off entirely leaves me feeling lost and hopeless, but running shorter or slower, making simpler meals, putting off a difficult to-do list task….these strategies give me room to breath.
  • Don’t Take a Day Off from Exercise: Related to the first point and contrary to logic, taking a day off entirely usually exacerbates my problems rather than solving them.  Don’t skip workouts.  In fact, add in an extra one, but do so with intentionality.  For example, instead of going to a HIIT class, go to a Yin Yoga class.  You maintain your routine, but modify it to treat yourself with kindness.  Or do something fun like cranking the music and dancing around your family room naked!!
  • Refocus on Daily Gratitude: When I notice myself getting burned out, it often coincides with a few days of skipping my daily gratitude journaling.  Whip that journal back out and write down at least 3 things, big or small, for which you are grateful each and every day.
  • Breathe: Set an alarm for each hour and when it goes off, take 5 deep breathes.  Slipping into flight or fight sympathetic nervous system happens when we are under lots of stress.  Breathing deeply resets the nervous system and moves the body into the parasympathetic system, calming and rejuvenating.   Quite literally, adding oxygen to a fire is fuel that allows it to grow rather than burn out.
  • Look Outside Yourself, Then Treat Yourself: Look at your friends and family and ask, “If they were having a hard time right now, what would I do for them?”  Then do that same thing for yourself.  If you would take a friend out for a glass of wine or your partner for a walk on the beach, then do exactly that for yourself.  Best done alone and really enjoy the company you are with….you are an amazing person to be with!!

Burnout results from a fire that burned too bright and ran out of fuel.  To reinvigorate passion, it is critical to find and supply proper fuel to keep the fire going.  If a fire burns out completely, it takes a lot more resources to get it rekindled.  It is easier to let the fire die down a little and when the fuel becomes available, the fire is ready and waiting to accept it and grow right back to a glorious bonfire.

The journey continues……

2018 ~ Setting Focuses…Not Resolutions!

At the end of each year, I like to reflect on what the last year brought into my life.  Much like a daily gratitude journal, a yearly reflection allows me to assess how far I have (or have not) come.  Before I look forward to the next year, I take account of my lessons learned.

2017 brought much into my life.  I proved to myself that I am a capable endurance runner and much braver than I thought.  I tackled trails all alone that would have scared me in years gone by.  Kenny’s and my relationship grew to a whole new level of wonderfulness.  I was given the opportunity for a temporary promotion which I feel I tackled successfully.

On a rougher note, our boys had a difficult year in a few ways.   By association as parents, we did too.   And juggling Kenny’s return to school was a tough transition for the family.  But through these experiences, we grew to be an even closer family.

While in a few ways, 2017 was one of the most difficult years of my life, in others, it was a year of tremendous growth, love, learning, and adventure.

Learning from the past is critical to plan better for the future.

Looking ahead to 2018, I do not care for New Year’s Resolutions.  Like many, I do not see value in making a promise that is destined to be short-lived.  Resolutions like, “I will never eat another piece of candy again” are bound to fail!  Instead, I prefer to use any new beginning as a chance to determine how I would like to grow and commit to focusing on those actions next.  This happens at various times throughout the year, but after the winter holidays, and with the returning of the warming energizing power of the Sun, the New Year is a fitting time to re-examine my focuses and commit to them out loud.

As I step into 2018, I have established three areas of focus for my life:

Intimacy in My Most Important Relationship

I cuddle with my kids. I share meals and stories with friends.  At times, I spend more time with co-workers than I do my spouse.  But oh sweet intimacy, only my best friend/partner/spouse receives that.  I divulge thoughts and feelings I would not share with anyone else.  I give my physical being to my spouse.  I trust him with every bit of my vulnerability. Yet despite the importance of intimacy in setting this relationship apart from all the others in my life, it is easily lost in the daily chaos.  For 2018, I would like to focus on making intimacy in my marriage a higher priority.

Getting my Children Outdoors More Often

My boys are pretty active.  They jump on the trampoline every day, play on their swing set, love bike rides and swimming.  Inevitably however, they get overly excited about playing on their tablets or wanting to find “easy” entertainment.  Yet, whenever we venture into the great outdoors, they always find joy in it.  Getting dirty is good for the body, mind, and soul and while I do it regularly for myself, I don’t drag my kids along often enough.  For 2018, I would like to focus on getting my boys into the great outdoors more often.  Camping, hiking, swimming in lakes and rivers, kayaking, paddle-boarding, mountain biking….anything that leads to fresh air, dirty feet, and a joyful heart.

Running with Women Who Are Stronger and Faster than Me

I love the times when I have runners who join me to push themselves.  I find great joy in helping other women find their next level.  But when I am destined to be the slower runner, I get nervous, anxious, fearful.  What will they think of me?  Will they assume that I am a terrible person because I can’t run as fast as them?  What if they never want to run with me again or even be my friend?  HAHA….It is just ludicrous the ideas that go through my head when vulnerability knocks down the door.  Yet, the times I have overcome my fear, I have found great pride in myself at pushing to a next level.  For 2018, I would like to focus on allowing myself to be vulnerable and dare to chase that next level of accomplishment.

Setting focuses for the year remind me of the intention I like to set before a run or yoga class.  There are always areas I want to improve in my life and if I try to do them all at once, I will fail at everything.  Breaking down my goals into smaller focuses will give me a chance to make some real progress towards the woman I want to become while not losing the beautiful parts of who I already am.

The journey continues……

Every Run Needs a Purpose

Running is a powerful tool in coping with depression and really just life in general.  The physical activity relieves stress while releasing endorphins that elevate the mood.  Many of the runs I do have the sole purpose of giving me release from the chains of depression.  

Runs all need a purpose.  Some days it is a cure-all for emotional distress.  Other days it is pushing for a new personal record.  And at other times it is also a chance to seek out new adventures.  

What happens when a run lacks purpose?  Most runs that lack purpose feel flat and unfulfilling.  You naturally fall back into habits and the full benefit of that run gets lost.  On the other hand, giving a run purpose provides a foundation for the movement in that run and helps you focus expectations.

How do you set purpose for a run?

  1. Begin by planning ahead.  Having a training plan that identifies each run and its purpose ahead of time helps set the stage long before you lace up your shoes.
  2. For each run decide what conditions you need to fulfill that purpose.  For example, if I am doing a tempo run, I like to get some faster friends along for the ride to help me push the pace.  Make arrangements to have those conditions met.
  3. The night before set the stage for execution.  Is the intention of your run to socialize with friends after work?  Then be sure to pack clothes so you don’t have to come home after work, but rather can go straight to your meet-up.
  4. At the beginning of each run, silently or out loud, set an intention.  Tell yourself, “On Today’s run I want to……”  Use this intention to set the expectation for the run and let all other expectations go. If your intention is to use the run as a recovery run, that is the intention.  Do not expect to set a new personal record on Strava that day and be okay with that because running fast is not the intention for that days run.  
  5. Don’t be afraid to adjust your purpose if you need to for that day.  You may have an endurance run planned, but just need to get anger and frustration out so you can be present for your family.  Do it.  Maybe you are tired from a long week and just need an easy run or have missed a friend you haven’t seen in a while.  Change your purpose to get what you need in your life.  

What are some examples of purposes for a run?  We often think of the purely physical purposes….tempo run, fartlek run, long run, and so on.  But for the majority of us, there are far greater and more important reasons to run than just getting faster or running longer.  

Here are some of the intentions I choose to set before a run:

  1. Social interaction – spending time with friends and deepening relationships
  2. Good for the soul – spending time in nature and reconnecting with my inner self
  3. Adventure – seeing and exploring new places
  4. Stress Relief – pounding out anger from a hard and frustrating day
  5. Recovery – moving my muscles in an easy way to stimulate recovery from hard efforts
  6. Building Speed – shorter bursts of faster speed to build speed for longer runs
  7. Building Endurance – long miles in an aerobic zone to build the bodies endurance

Picking the purpose of your run helps you be ever mindful of what you are seeking to get out of your running.  If you give running the chance, it will deliver far more than physical fitness.  It will deliver some of the strongest friendships, the best mental health medicine, ability to deal with conflict and challenging events in life, and so much more.  

What are some other intentions you have set for a run?  How do you give your run purpose?

Build longevity, embrace the delicate within and let the journey continue…..

3 Ways ChiRunning Helps Battle Depression

This post has taken me several months to write mostly because there is so much information to digest and I am having a hard time determining how to form my thoughts.  I wrote a draft about what ChiRunning is and how it helps prevent injury, but it just didn’t feel right.  So I shelved it and thought about it some more. 

Then it occurred to me.  What matters the most in my world is how ChiRunning has helped my depression.   

It started in April when I attended my first ChiRunning clinic with Lisa Pozzoni of The Running University.  Then picked up momentum when I took Kenny to a ChiRunning clinic for our anniversary.  Pause…what is ChiRunning you say?  

ChiRunning is a form of running that integrates principles of TaiChi.  This unique approach results in running naturally and injury free. The mission of ChiRunning is to help people “Love Running Forever”.  You can learn more about how to practice ChiRunning by checking out the various books and videos here, or better yet take a workshop from a local certified instructor.

As you learn about ChiRunning and practice, you will find that there are common issues that most runners have to some degree.

Heel Striking – Leading with the legs rather than upper body results in landing on the heels, essentially putting on the breaks with every running step.  Not only does this slow a runner down, it also sends a jarring impact up the leg.  Shortening the stride and landing with the feet underneath the body prevents this jarring impact.  

Low Cadence – Ideal cadence is 170-180 steps per minutes yet most people run closer to 160 or 165 steps per minute.  This causes a runner’s feet to stay on the ground too long.  The longer the feet are on the ground the more energy goes into getting it back off the ground rather than forward motion.  

Arm Swing – Arms should act as a pendulum and swing forward and backward with a 90 degree angle at the elbow.   Many runners however twist back and forth from the shoulders, wasting energy in the side to side motion.  Not only does this take energy away from forward momentum, it can lead to tension in the neck and shoulders.

ChiRunning provides solutions to these common issues which helps eliminate and prevent injuries.  It also teaches a runner how to listen to the body and connect with the energy within.  As I have deepened my ChiRunning practice I have addressed these issues in myself.  And as it begins to feel more and more natural, I have started to feel a flow to my running that is quite beautiful.   It is within this flow that ChiRunning has become a powerful tool in my arsenal when battling my depression.  

THREE MAJOR WAYS CHIRUNNING HELPS MY DEPRESSION:

Deeper Connection With My Body – Chi Running teaches Body Sensing as a technique to check-in with the body and assess form.  As I have been practicing Body Sensing, I have become more in tune with how my body is feeling.  At first, I was worried that body sensing would cause me to get so wrapped up in my discomfort that my running would no longer be enjoyable.  What I have found instead is that when I identify discomfort, I can adjust my form to alleviate it.  More often than not, I am finding that I am identifying strengths I didn’t always realize I had.  Rather than thoughts of, “My legs are so tired” or “my breathing is so labored”, I catch myself thinking, “I feel strong and powerful” and “I feel like I am floating over the ground”.  The more frequently I talk positively to myself the easier it is to allow depressive thoughts to flow past and pull myself back to a positive place.

Flowing Energy – Much of ChiRunning is about body alignment and smooth flowing movement.  Visualize a needle stuck through cotton.  The core of the body is the needle, strong and firm and tall.  Rather than getting stuck within inefficient motions, the body flows around this needle, gently along for the ride.  On an energetic level, blockages to free flowing energy can cause ailments of the body and mind, while free flowing energy can alleviate them.  My depression is easier to manage when energy is moving freely throughout my body.

Consistency – One of the main objectives of ChiRunning is to run injury free.  One of the greatest medicines for my depression is running.  Running injury free allows me to be able to run consistently, allowing for that daily dose of medicine that I so desperately need.  I have learned that 5 days a week is necessary for my mental well-being.   Injuries lead to missed runs which leads to withdraw which leads to long hours in bed on the verge of tears.  ChiRunning is like an insurance policy against missed days.

Running has saved me from despair on many occasions.  ChiRunning has strengthened my running and by association, strengthened my ability to battle depression.  With running, and specifically ChiRunning, the journey continues……

The ABCs of Happiness

Dealing with depression on a daily basis is a challenge. Even for those that don’t struggle with depression, days can become full of frustration and the struggles of work and groceries, homework and meals. Often it feels like happiness is elusive.

But happiness is a choice and one that is YOURS and MINE to make. It is helpful to have a strategy to aid in making this choice. I sat down and gave some thought to the various words of wisdom that I try to incorporate into my daily life. Practicing The ABCs of Happiness aids in keeping my depression at bay and supports healthy living.

A – Always be willing to say you are sorry first when you are wrong and sometimes even when you are not.

B – Believe in the good in yourself and in those around you.

C – Chase after dreams and goals that are your own not someone else’s.

D – Dream big, live large, but in the way that you define is right for you.

E – Embrace that which makes you delicate; it is the delicate that teaches us to be strong.

F – Find gratitude each and every day in both big and small ways.

G – Give love and affection to others and accept the love and affection others give to you.

H – Have courage to buck societal norms and pave a path that is true to your heart.

I – Intentionality….start your day with setting an intention and remember it throughout the day.

J – Jump and play like a kid often.

K – Know your limitations then bust through them anyway!

L – Love large, put your heart out there, you will never receive love if you don’t give it first.

M – Make time for self love and self care.

N – Never be afraid to take a risk.

O – Open your eyes and heart to the perspective of others. You may not agree but you will learn something.

P – Pursue your dreams relentlessly.

Q – Query others on they do to find joy and try out some of their ideas.

R – Respect everyone even if you don’t like them.

S – Show compassion always.

T – Try new things, places, etc. regularly

U – Use your time wisely.

V – Value relationships and experiences over material possessions.

W – Wait until your emotions subside before dealing with difficult issues so you can approach the situation with a clear head.

X – X-ray yourself regularly to find out where you can work on being a better person.

Y – Yearn for the future, cherish the past, LIVE in the present

Z – Zero grudges, zero regrets.

Call to action: What do you live by that helps you choose happiness in your life? Comment below.

5 Ways to Embrace Gratitude This Holiday Season

We have cycled around to another holiday season.  Thanksgiving is upon us and we are pausing to take stock in our blessings.  An “Attitude of Gratitude” is the motto of the day.

It is easy in the day to day to focus on negativity.  Sometimes in between rushing to soccer practice, and traveling for work, and paying bills, we lose sight all that we are grateful for in our lives.  Being grateful take practice.

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Getting my stretches in while chalking up the sidewalks

Today I was able to start my day by combining two of my biggest blessings…running with my Moms RUN This Town (MRTT) community and spending time with my family.  Our MRTT chapter organized a Turkey Trot 5K run.  It wasn’t formal – no race bibs, no registration, no timing.  Just show up and run, with love and laughter.

Prior to the race, a few of us got together and exercised our stealth “chalking” skills.  We  loaded up the neighborhood sidewalks with sayings of thanks and positivity.  Several people were out walking and asked what we were doing.  I was thrilled to tell them we were setting up for a community run.  It felt so good to be a part of something that would bring joy to others.

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Ahwatukee MRTT represents before we head out for our 5K family run

I did the “run” with Quinlan and my dad, who is visiting from Louisiana.  We mostly walked which gave us a perfect opportunity to have Quinlan read each of the sayings.   One of the sayings read, “What are you thankful for?”.  When I posed this question to Quinlan he said, “That’s a tough one, there are so many things!”  From the mouths of babes.  It warmed my heart.

Starting our day celebrating our blessings and being with our loved one set the stage for a day of gratitude.  It continued on with more love, thanksgiving, good food, and better company.  Gratitude is contagious and the more we are grateful, the more those around us see the blessings in their lives too.

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So how do we cultivate this same level of gratitude in our each and every day and not just limited to the Day of Thanks?  Here’s 5 ideas you can give a try to build gratitude into your daily life:

  • Gratitude Journal
    • Either begin or finish each day by writing in a journal, electronic or pen and paper, makes no difference.  Write down a minimum of three things you are grateful that day.  Big or small.  Gratitude for you were able to make your bed or gratitude that you survived a car accident – both build the habit of gratitude every day.
  • Set an Alarm
    • Use your smartphone to set 5 or more alarms throughout the day.  Each time the alarm goes off, pause for a minute to think of something you are grateful for in your life.  Again, big or small, gratitude is gratitude.
  • Post-It in Bathroom
    • On your bathroom mirror, steering wheel, or any common place, post a sticky note with the question, “What are you grateful for today?”  If you want to get fancy, you could stencil it or create some beautiful plaque, but be careful that it doesn’t become so decorative that it fades into the background.  You want this note to be noticeable so you look at it every day and answer the question.
  • Ritual
    • Create a ritual around a certain event in the day in which you give thanks.  For example, pausing before a meal to reflect on your blessings.  Our family regularly does a round-robin at the dinner table sharing our gratitude.
  • Gratitude Box
    • Buy a beautiful box or decorate a plain one.  Leave a stack of small pieces of paper and once a day write down a item of gratitude.  At a regular interval, weekly or monthly or so on, open the box and read what you have written down.

Incorporate one or more of these into each day and gratitude will begin to become habitual in your life.  And then that habit will influence those around you and bring more joy and blessing into your life.

Call to Action: Share in the comments what other ways you bring gratitude into your daily life?

 

Javelina Jundred Crew Report

Saturday October 28, 2017

5 o’clock AM – The sun is barely rising on the horizon, light gently spilling into my bedroom as I wake for the day. My phone chimes – a text from Kenny. The night before he camped at McDowell Mountain, preparing himself for a weekend to remember. He is letting me know is ready to go and I wish him luck before he heads off to the start line.

6 o’clock AM – Packing up my camping gear, my thoughts are with Kenny as he takes his first steps onto the race course.

Today is the day of the Javalina Jundred, a 100 mile footrace and Jalloween (aka Halloween) Party in the desert. His goal is to run under 24 hours, widely considered to be the gold standard time for completing a 100 mile distance. Think Boston Qualifier. He has been training for this race through the long hot summer months of Phoenix. His legs are strong and his mind is stronger. I have so much confidence that he is going to dominate today.

The boys and I and two amazingly committed, or crazy, friends load up our gear and head out to support him. We are all looking forward to a weekend of hanging out in the desert, though I am quiet with anticipation thinking about how Kenny is doing on his first loop.

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Kenny’s Crew – sporting our Moms Run This Town pride

Javelina Jundred is run at McDowell Mountain north of Phoenix. It is a beautiful park with smooth easily runnable trails. And while this sounds like the flat runnable trails would make the race easier, it means more running which is exhausting for the legs. A mountainous 100 miler gives different muscles a chance to rest as you climb up, go down, run flat. Further, this course has zero shade….literally. With the hot baking desert sun relentlessly beating down on your skin, even a mild 85 degree day feels scorching. Temperatures have been known to climb well over 100 during this race.

This course is run in 5 loops. The first loop is the longest at 22.3 miles long. Kenny is planning to run it in roughly 4 hours giving us just enough time to get there and prepare to meet him. Upon arrival at the park, I load up the wagon with Tailwind, hummus wraps, change of clothes, water, Nuun, shoes, sock, a chair, an umbrella and more. It feels quite a lot like that first trip out to the grocery store with a new born baby.

9:30 AM – We head to the start/finish area where we will meet Kenny. Keegan and Quinlan run around, playing, getting dirty. As the minutes creep by, I get quieter and more focused, hoping any moment to see Kenny come around the bend.

10:15 AM – At last we see him, 4 hours and 15 minutes after the race started. 22.3 miles down and he is on schedule. Bad news though. He looks terrible, dragging and down trodden. I lower him into a chair and Quinlan holds up an umbrella for shade, a precious commodity today. My job is to diagnose any and all of his needs and in his condition he isn’t the most cooperative patient because even he isn’t sure.

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Quinlan is very proud of the support he gave to Daddy.

He is nauseous but describes it more in the chest, not the gut. He tries to throw up and he doesn’t get any food out. He does gets a big gas bubble and feels slightly better. Later we will figure out that with the dry air and difficulty chewing, he is swallowing a lot of air. I patch him up the best I can and send him back on his way. It will be 19.5 miles until I see him again. With him feeling this poorly so early in the race, I am getting nervous. But I know that if we can keep his spirits up, he is going to be just fine.

If there is anything Kenny is capable of, it is pushing through physical distress and staying strong mentally. For many runners, hitting a problem 6 miles into a 100 mile race could spell disaster, but not for Kenny. I am concerned for him, but have faith he will soldier on.

11 o’clock AM – I head back to the campsite and spend some time playing with the boys, chatting with Kristie and Kim, and hoping for the best. Javelina Jundred is a notorious event. Sporting prizes for things like “Best Costume” and “Best Ass”, runners pull out all the stops making it an entertaining time. As we sit enjoying the day, Kim jumps excitedly out of her chair and makes sweeping gestures to the race course. “Come on, come on, you have to see this!”

In true Javelina fashion, a runner comes through wearing a bright red thong. We gawk at his dedication and are so in awe of his tenacity, and his ass, that we fail to notice that he is wearing arm sleeves, and a water pack. Trust me, you would fail to notice it too.

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Squirrel Nut Butter had better sponsor this runner

3 o’clock PM – Four more hours pass and we head back to the start/finish. There is no way for us to track Kenny’s progress with the exception of one aid station half way. Based on that time, we think he might still be on pace. This fact gives me hope that he is doing better. Four and a half hours after we saw him the first time, he comes rolling through again….in MUCH better spirits. 40 miles in and he is feeling pretty good. He tells me his legs are dead, but I remind him “You don’t need your legs.” Folks, this is the mindset of a ultrarunner. You don’t need your legs to run the rest of those miles. You need your mind and his is strong.

He has doctored up his clothes to deal with the heat and it is working well. We don’t need to spend much time with him this go around. We get him patched up and back on the course. I am still confident he can hit his sub-24 hour goal.

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Good spirits abound!

He anticipated his third leg to be slower. It is 40 miles into the race, he is getting tired but doesn’t yet have a pacer to keep him company. In 100 mile distances, runners can pick up a pacer at certain points to keep them company and to watch out for their well-being. He will be picking up a pacer when he heads out on his fourth loop so he has another five hours or so on his own.

5 o’clock PM – The next hours are uneventful. The boys enjoy a burping contest, some wood-fired pizza, hot chocolate by a campfire and giant connect four. I enjoy relaxing and being in my favorite place in the world, out in nature with family, friends, and lots of crazy runners. We settle the boys in for bed and then head back to the start/finish area to wait again for Kenny. It is dark now, rapidly cooling off and the fatigue is setting in for us as we desire to get some sleep. Kenny’s fatigue is no doubt tremendous and picking up a pacer for his next loop will definitely breath some life into him.

9 o’clock PM – When we see him for the third time he is still looking good. He jokes with us and celebrates an Ohio State win over Penn State. We execute our now perfectly organized routine, changing shoes and socks, refilling supplies in his pack and making sure he has all he needs to set back out. Chrissie heads out with him to pace his next 20 miles. She is the perfect pacer for him at this point – high energy, enthusiastic, talented, and overall just fabulous company. I can head to get a few hours of sleep knowing he is in great hands.

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Kenny is fatigued but in good spirits getting ready to head out with Chrissie

11 o’clock PM – I climb into bed with the boys and despite my exhaustion I have trouble falling asleep. Ultras are so inspiring and exciting and I lay awake dreaming of the next one I get to run. At last, sleep consumes me and I rest peacefully for a few hours.

Sunday October 29, 2017

2 o’clock AM – Too soon however, the alarm goes off, signaling our need to head back out to greet Kenny one last time. We trudge back to the start/finish. We have arranged for another runner to run the last loop with him. I meet Josh for the first time and thank him for being willing to run with Kenny. This is another amazing aspect of ultrarunning. The community support is so incredible. Where else in the world will you find a complete stranger willing to run 20 miles with someone they don’t know, through the desert, in the middle of the night, especially when the runner they are helping is probably horribly cranky and tired by this point? I LOVE THIS SPORT!

3:30 AM – It is another hour and a half until Kenny comes in. His fourth loop was way slower than his previous loops. Up until this point, his goal of sub-24 was still a possibility, though he would have had to push hard for it. Now, it was a lost dream. We moved onto his B Goal to beat his 100 mile time at Mohican 100 last summer. And that goal was still well within reach.

9 o’clock AM – The camper is broken down, we are packed up and ready to head home. The only thing we are missing is our runner. At 8:29 am, Josh had texted me letting me know they had passed through Rattlesnake Aid Station, 4 miles from the finish. His message said, “He’s moving really good now.” I knew it wouldn’t be long before he showed his happy face.

9:05 AM – He arrives, ripping off his water pack, his shirt, and sporting the biggest smile a face can hold. It is a quarter mile to the actual finish line and he bolts off, moving like he just rolled out of bed, not like he had just run 100 miles. The boys greet him about 100 yards from the finish and Keegan grabs for his hand as he runs the last fews steps with his dad.

9:07 AM – He completes the Javelina Jundred in 27 hours 9 minutes and 32 seconds, a new Personal Record.

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Celebrating his finish with Josh.

Tears are in my eyes watching his complete his goal, watching him prove to our kids yet again that a person can do anything if he puts his mind to it, watching him filled with such joy.

Over the next several days we have spent a lot of time picking apart the race, reflecting on what worked and what did, reliving the challenges and the excitement. Kenny’s unfailing confidence – if he puts his mind to something, he will prevail – is a trait I aspire to embrace and grow in myself. I doubt myself ceaselessly, but his example is a powerful reminder in the strength of a positive attitude and of faith.

Congratulations Kenny Fife. Can’t wait for the next go around.

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Proudly sporting the 100 mile Belt Buckle….the sole prize for completing 100 miles.

The journey continues……